Breezewood and Bowling

This is Adam reporting, live from New York City! I've officially moved in to our apartment and my first official post now that I'm officially a New Yorker will officially have nothing to do with New York.

Last weekend was one of the most memorable weekends I've ever had. Saturday I woke up early, enjoyed a delicious brunch with Michelle's parents, then drove off to Breezewood to meet my Mom. It's always great to go visit my folks and since I see them so infrequently, I enjoy the times that we do get to spend together all the more. So on the way there, I get a call from my sister who claims she is bored and could use some chat-time with her bro until she has to go to work. At the end of our conversation, she says "Tell Mom I said hi", to which I laugh since she sees Mom everyday and my sending her Lorraine's salutations hardly seems necessary. Moments later I learn how truly unnecessary it is, as I discover Lorraine joined Mom on her trip to Breezewood. Now my day has just gotten brighter.

For those of you who don't know, Breezewood is a small town solely made up of restaurants, gas stations and toll booths. As far as anyone knows, "Breezewood" is actually a 300 foot long piece of highway that connects the Pennsylvania Turnpike to Route 70. It's roughly halfway between Baltimore and Pittsburgh, so it's been a common meeting place for my parents and I ever since I moved to Maryland for college, some eight years ago. And in those eight years, never have I, nor anyone else, had so much of an iota of curiosity in what lay beyond those 300 feet of highway.

Today, Mom was curious.

Where shall we eat my dearest children?
How about Bob Evans, Mom. It's right here!
Oh, well let's see whats over there.
There's nothing over there Mom, but Bob Evans is right here.
Oh, well you're not THAT hungry, are you?
I guess that doesn't really matter anymore, does it Mom? Seeing as how we just passed Bob Evans.
Tell you what (her favorite phrase)... let's just drive right over there and if we don't see anything, we'll turn around.
Seems like it would save time if we just turned around now and eat at Bob Evans.
Oh, don't be silly.

We then spent the next three days looking for any signs of civilization. For those of you wondering what DOES lay beyond the perfectly adequate 300 feet of highway, allow me to illuminate it for you.

Nothing.

Seriously, no people, no building, no light or air. No feelings of love or hope. Just a vast, bleak field of emptiness that eats away at your very soul. Oh and no U-turns either. We drove like, 76 miles before we could turn around and drive 93 miles back (that's right, it's 17 miles longer going back) just so we could eat at Bob Evans. My slight hunger had turned to a desperate starvation as I began eating the seatbelts. Lorraine had actually died, turned to ash, was reborn and grew to roughly the same age she was before. Yeah, I know. I didn't realize she was a phoenix either.

Anyway, lunch was fantastic. Not just the food, which although I can't remember what I ordered, I'm sure it was mostly butter, but our conversations were just as wonderful. And less fattening. We tried to plan a time that my folks, Lorraine and husband Joe and Meech and I could all meet up for a short vacation. Here's hoping Sue and Marty are free this summer!

Ok, so fast-foward to Saturday afternoon where I helped Michelle's folks babysit my nieces, Amelia, Tali and Sophie. I was so tired (both from driving and babysitting) that I took a two-hour nap. We then shared another FANTASTIC meal, watched some TV then went to bed.

Sunday was Father's Day and I think I spent it buying cards and gifts for my friends that I'd be leaving at work. That night however, was awesome. I met Chris around 8 to go bowling, which was a favorite pastime of ours. We asked for a lane and the guy said "One game or two?". We looked at each other thinking, "How dare he limit our bowling experience to only TWO games!? We demand an unlimited amount of gametime. How much trash talking could we fit into just TWO games? We did not meet after months apart to say our goodbyes just so Adam could kick Chris' ass TWICE!" Ok, that last part, maybe I was only thinking.

So we sadly accept the two games and begin playing. Around 9, we finish up and fueled on by the fact that we had each won one game, we returned to the Man Behind the Counter and his pitiful teenage hatchling and asked for more games.
"You want more games?"
"Um, yeah"
"But you said you only wanted two!"
"Um, you didn't give us many options there"
"Sigh... ok. Let me see what I can do" (as if the deserted bowling alley was chuck full of bowlers)
"Ok, how about this," he says. "You two can bowl for the next two hours, until close, as many times as you want, for nine dollars."

That's right. We scored unlimited bowling for two hours for NINE DOLLARS. Not nine bucks each. NINE DOLLARS. I'm not sure what crazy financial epiphany this man had that limited us to only two games at 8:00 and then UNLIMITED GAMES at 9:00, but who am I to judge?

For those of you wondering what two hours of unlimited bowling means, allow me to illustrate.
Pros - Serious levels of trash talking, as well as several repetitions of phrases like "I'm just getting warmed up", "One more for the turkey" and "Now I got my mojo back".
Cons - By around 10:30, we bowled like Scotsmen hurling cabers in the Highland Games. Also, three hours of bowling will leave your entire right side numb. Also, there's a risk of losing your thumb completely.

Anyway, the night was great and Chris surprised me, as he always does, with his brief moments of sincerity and kindness. He once again encouraged me to continue my webcomic, though probably only so his own caricature will continue to exist. And he proudly gave me an Oriole's hat to wear in NY so as to never forget who taught me everything I know about sports. Thank you Chris.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, we played 7 games total and I beat him 6 out of 7 times.

That was my awesome weekend and stay tuned cause Meech will be posting about THIS weekend real soon!
Toodles,
Adam