Crash and Burn. But, In A Good Way

Hello, all. According to my most esteemed mother, you all have been clamoring for a new installment. Well, be it true or not, here it is. I am currently prone in bed with my laptop after a harrowing day with an early gym workout, vastly varying temperatures, a little too much employee birthday wine, a little too small a lunch, and, of course, Aunt Flo. That really tops it off. After barely dragging myself home, Adam promptly fed me linguine and put me in bed. What a good man, that one.

Ok, here we go. WARNING: This is going to be a long one.

So, let us take a step back in time, to...oh, two weekends ago. Adam and I traveled via the Jewish Bus (no, really) back to Maryland for Rosh Hashanah weekend. Upon our arrival, we were picked up by the Ilkovitch family in their fabulous new motorcarraige. Three rows of seating, a DVD player, enchanted rims made from ancient Mayan silver, and a trained monkey in the back! Crazy. But no, it was really nice. Adam and I don't ride in cars anymore, so it was sort of a treat. We hung out with the fam for the afternoon and it was thoroughly enjoyable. I've never been so fought over by children in my life. It was nice. Then we met the folks for delicious kabobs, and went back to their place to sleep. The next day I went with Mom to see some of my UMBC pals (sadly no Julie or Kazumi...sniff sniff) and was so tickled at how happy they were to see me. I miss you all! On a somber note, it was terrible to look into Barbara's darkened office and see her elephants and bright pictures still in there, and know I'd never see her again. It's one of those things about life I just can't abide; lovely, beautiful people stolen for no reason. I am, at least, grateful to have known her.

After that, the usual Jabes feast occurred, after which we all languished in food coma and smiled to ourselves. I drew pictures of peacocks and unicorns with the girls, and we finally said goodbye. I always leave those nights wishing I could have more time with Nikki. But we've been calling a lot, and it's fun listening to her taunt me about having babies so they can wear her pristine and forever-in-fashion hand-me-downs. I love hand-me-downs. It comes with the territory.

The next day Mom and Dad took us to Rehoboth Beach. We booked a suite in at The Breakers, and walked around our old stomping grounds all day, looking in shops and petting people's dogs. I did my usual routine: buy gummi [fill in the blank]s at the Candy Kitchen, inhale them indiscriminately and in an open-mouthed, immature fashion, remove shoes and stomp through the wet sand, taunting waves and then running away, laugh at how the sandpiper birds run away too, eat Grotto Pizza, eat Boardwalk Fries with half a bottle of vinegar...you get the point. It was awesome.

We got back with an hour to spare before having to go meet the bus to return to New York. We were dead on our feet by the time we got home, but it was a good trip so it could have been much worse. There will be some new pics on our website, so you should check 'em out.

The week went by without incident, and this Saturday was Yom Kippur. Now, Adam always fasts with me, of his own volition. This is very, very sweet of him. However, the result of us both being without food is often violent and involves foul language. Heck, what am I supposed to do? I don't function well with low blood sugar. Also, our apartment was a sty and we had no food in the house, so we had to clean, do laundry, as well as Manhattan shopping on empty stomachs. This was not very smart. So, around 3 p.m. we caved and had a slice of pizza, each. It was heaven. Then I had the energy to both purchase and cook dinner (whole roast chicken with rosemary and lemon, as well as farm fresh carrots and finger potatoes, thank you very much), which was delicious. Mazel tov!

Sunday we ate at Eisenberg's and jogged in Prospect Park, which was lovely as usual. That night we got a call from our lovely new friend Charles, who lives in Hell's Kitchen. We met up in Chelsea where he greeted us: "Welcome to the Gayberhood!" (i.e. there are a lot of homosexuals in Chelsea. It's very clean!) He introduced us to Pinkberry, a tasty, fashionable and overpriced fro-yo shop where skinny people can eat no-guilt ice cream with fresh fruit and cap'n crunch on top to their heart's delight. It was funny. Charles is a wonderful young man.

Anyway, this week has been good, but seriously tiring. With Aunt Flo visiting, I feel like there is a small dwarf beating on my head with a cudgel, and some type of disgruntled goat head-butting my abdomen. Really, it feels just like that. However, today was full of surprises. I was coming back from running an errand and went to the ladies' room, where I heard a couple women (one a young editor I know, and an unknown one), talking about hand washing length to a very young, very adorable little girl, probably about 4. I didn't pay much attention to all this, but looked at the little girl, who smiled and left. I heard a lot of commotion coming from one of the ladies' offices right down the hall from me (I'm talking 10 feet) and saw that they were having some kind of meeting. I just glanced in, but that was all. They were there for a while, and around the time I noticed the voices fading, I get an e-mail from my boss: "Don't think we're going to have the meeting today...got a lot of work on my plate, and frankly, I'm a little distracted by the fact that [a certain A-list celebrity, a la Suddenly Susan] is here with her daughter."

Uhm, what?

So, yes. I was in the bathroom with this celebrity's daughter, and possibly the celebrity herself. I called Nikki to mourn the fact that I missed all of this, and she replied, "Oh, she'll probably come back. If you see her, tell her I loved Blue Lagoon."

Oh, life sure is interesting. I hope this was satisfying for you all. Also, if anyone is interested in Josh's fantastic recipe for Fennel Soup that I just tried, let me know. Fennel is in season!